Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Sugar Has Power Over Me, Only if I Eat It!

Sugar is a mind-altering drug.

I picture myself having one mint on New Year's Day. One mint. You know those pink, green and yellow melt-away mints shaped like Hershey kisses, with little white sugary balls on the bottom? I've been imagining how savory it would be, how sweet and creamy and perfect just one mint could be. But one won't be enough. Just when I start to have that climax of sweet taste, it melts away and I'll need another one. That's why when Santa brings me a bag of them every Christmas, they are always gone before New Year's Eve.

By the time I need another one, my mind will have been altered. My mind will have given way to the forces of my tongue, which makes outrageous demands, especially when it's on drugs: sugar.
The psychology of this is beyond me. I've spent hours talking to friends and different people about the psychology of wanting sugar, and the general conclusion is that, yeah, it's addictive.

I don't want to feel out of control. I would like to taste one of those mints. I feel better saying no to all sugar. What about an old-fashioned donut, oh my gosh it would taste so perfect. I have been enjoying my even-keeled, sugar-free self. A bar of chocolate is all I need. One bite. I feel really good about myself and that has led to my eating healthier all year, and exercising regularly. What about a little squirt of whip cream on a small hot chocolate? Right at midnight tonight. I am satisfied with naturally sweetened alternatives. Okay, just one of those mints and then throw the rest away immediately. This back and forth in my mind has been going on since November.

Do I eat sugar again or don't I?

You have spoken and I have taken all of your recent comments and emails to heart. The common theory is that no one can have just one taste of sugar. It is so good, so literally mind-altering, that one does not mean one. Eating sugar means eating more sugar. That scares me because that is the very problem I worked so hard to get out of my system all year. I had to quit eating sugar cold-turkey because I could not moderate my sugar intake.

Even if I set out to only have one cookie, that always meant at least 3 or 4 or 5, etc. The sugar got a hold of my senses and started speaking for me. The sugar started making the decisions for me. It took a lot of sugar to satisfy the sugar. Usually the only thing that spoke louder than the sugar itself was my tummy ache after I had royally stuffed myself. That tummy ache was the most common problem with eating sugar. I depended on feeling sick to know when I was done eating sugar.

Those days are over.

I know that if I eat sugar, it is likely that it will have power over me, but as long as I don't eat it, I'm the winner!

1 comment:

Mindy said...

I just discovered your site today, and was so happy that it brought tears to my eyes. I have been working at cutting sugar completely from my diet, and am so encouraged to find someone else who tried-- and did it. I look forward to reading through the year's posts and following your journey.

I find it so difficult because our culture is so in love with sugar. All the people in my life seem to view it as a harmless treat. But the more I read (I've read "Sugar Blues" and "Nourishing Traditions" so far...) the more I realize that it's horrible stuff. I think peer pressure is going to be my biggest challenge.

Anyway, thanks for your site, and I look forward to reading what you have to say. I am really excited to see the list of recipes, too! Thanks again. :)