Nutrients vs. Calories: The Debate Goes On

The debate continues. So far, I have not heard any support for high calories and low nutrients, except in the case of starvation (see below). Instead, people seem willing to sacrifice a few calories in the name of healthier food, which can be looked at as preventative medicine. This decision seems heavily based on nutrition education.

Earlier this week, I shared the debate with Dr. Marion Nestle in an email. Here is what I said:

"I ask my readers to choose what they would prefer: less nutrients and more calories (i.e. cheap junk food) or more nutrients and less calories (assuming there is a cap on the amount of money spent on food). What I find to be a fascinating argument is that junk food (fast foods, packaged food, frozen food, etc.) is argued to be cheaper so it has been concluded that lower income people are more overweight due to higher calories at lower prices. I'm not quite in agreement with this argument because those same lower-income people could (assuming they are educated about nutrition in this case) choose to eat healthier foods, albeit less calories for more money, but it seems like most of us could use less calories anyway.

What are your thoughts on this? If you had to choose between less calories/more nutrients or more calories/less nutrients, which would you choose?"

Dr. Nestle responded: "The choice you pose depends on the circumstances. For people who are starving, calories with some nutrients is better than not enough calories. For typical Americans who are largely overfed, cutting down on calories is a good idea."

Emma's comment about junk food is another good argument: "...1200 calories of potato chips is almost a day's calories for someone trying to lose weight but I bet those chips are eaten as a snack in one sitting. You then have to buy food for lunch, dinner, breakfast and afternoon tea."

I enjoyed reading everyone's comments and I hope to fuel the debate by sharing a story about school lunches:

I learned recently that one of the biggest problems with school lunches is that there are USDA guidelines that require a certain amount of calories per meal (1/3 of a child's daily caloric requirement must be served at each meal). The following story describes why this guideline needs to be changed to adopt a more nutrient-based requirement, and not just calorie-based:

Once, a dietitian decided to try and make school lunches healthier by taking cookies off the trays and substituting apple slices. The apple slices did not provide the required amount of calories, though, and so the apple slices were taken away and replaced with the high-fat, high-sugar cookies--all because of a caloric requirement, not a nutrient requirement. It seems that as long as the minimum number of calories are met, the quality of food doesn't matter. Fried, sugary and fattening foods seem to fly as long as the calorie requirement is met. I understand that some children get one or two meals at school and this might be the best form of nourishment they get all day. However, if the USDA guidelines would take into account nutrients, those same kids might also be participating in preventative health care, which in turn lowers annual health care costs.

Take a look at PCRM's (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) school lunch program nutrition advocacy here.

Also, there is a Childhood Obesity National Conference coming up next month, June 18-19 in Washington, D.C. where I am currently visiting and learning a lot about nutrition and politics. The issues being addressed at this conference are particularly interesting to me, including:

• PANEL: Are government and industry responsible for childhood obesity?
• The fattening of America: How the economy makes us fat, if it matters, and what to do about it.
• Global dynamics of diet and obesity
• Can a vegetarian diet protect children from obesity?
• PANEL: Should every school offer vegetarian options?
• The developmental origins of obesity in childhood and chronic disease in later life

To name a few. To find out more, go to ChildhoodObesityConference.org

Also, this just in: Dr. Nestle's post, "Strong Opinions About Obesity"

And, lastly, an article in the Washington Post giving us insight into the decision-making of the poor.

Real Food Revolution Begins with Fight Back Fridays

The goal is to promote real food. Not Twinkies, Splenda, hot dogs or soda. Real food that our grandparents used to eat. What a concept, eh? It's one of my favorite concepts in the book, "The Omnivore's Dilemma."

"I'm a Food Renegade," blogger is starting a new online revolution. The goal is to influence and "change the way America (and the industrialized world) eats!"

If you click on her blog above, you will find a list of healthy bloggers and links to their sites about various topics. You'll find ingredients, information about losing weight, recipes and other healthful tidbits that will influence this food revolution. I added information about Tips on How to Cut Out Sugar. I like the idea of getting together and sharing all different kinds of information.

Enjoy!

"Don't Eat This Book" by Morgan Spurlock

I just purchased a fantastically fun, easy read from Powell's books yesterday. The cover caught my attention, "DON'T EAT THIS BOOK, Fast Food and the Supersizing of America," by Morgan Spurlock who brought us the outsanding documentary, "Super-Size Me."

In quickly scanning the first chapter, I knew that I would buy the book when I read this paragraph at the end of chapter one:

"Like this book, the epidemic of overconsumption that's plaguing the nation begins with the things we put in our mouths. Since the 1960's, everyone has known that smoking kills, but it's only been in the last few years that we've become hip to a new killer, one that now rivals smoking as the leading cause of preventable deaths in America and, if current trends continue, will soon be the leading cause: overeating.

Americans are eating themselves to death."

The titles of the following chapters are hilarious. "Girth of a Nation" "McD-Day" "Sex, Fries and Videotape" "McFree at Last" "Vote with your Fork" to name a few.

The bulk of the book includes startling statistics (we rarely, if ever, exercise anymore, meanwhile our caloric intake has steadily increased) fast food, marketing, politics and consumption. "Consume. Consume. Still not happy? Then you obviously haven't consumed enough."

If you're in denial about how little you exercise and how much crap you eat, do not read this book.

Carbohydrates = Sugar

I've been doing more research on sugar. What is it, really? What foods break down into sugars? How much is too much? What do carbohydrates have to do with blood sugar? Should we cut out all carbs?

I came across a very informative article by Harvard's School of Public Health.

How are carbohydrates and sugar related?

• "Carbohydrates are found in a wide array of foods—bread, beans, milk, popcorn, potatoes, cookies, spaghetti, soft drinks, corn, and cherry pie. They also come in a variety of forms. The most common and abundant forms are sugars, fibers, and starches.

• The basic building block of every carbohydrate is a sugar molecule, a simple union of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Starches and fibers are essentially chains of sugar molecules. Some contain hundreds of sugars. Some chains are straight, others branch wildly.

• Carbohydrates were once grouped into two main categories. Simple carbohydrates included sugars such as fruit sugar (fructose), corn or grape sugar (dextrose or glucose), and table sugar (sucrose). Complex carbohydrates included everything made of three or more linked sugars. Complex carbohydrates were thought to be the healthiest to eat, while simple carbohydrates weren't so great. It turns out that the picture is more complicated than that.

• The digestive system handles all carbohydrates in much the same way—it breaks them down (or tries to break them down) into single sugar molecules, since only these are small enough to cross into the bloodstream. It also converts most digestible carbohydrates into glucose (also known as blood sugar), because cells are designed to use this as a universal energy source.

• Fiber is an exception. It is put together in such a way that it can't be broken down into sugar molecules, and so it passes through the body undigested. Fiber comes in two varieties: soluble fiber dissolves in water, while insoluble fiber does not. Although neither type nourishes the body, they promote health in many ways. Soluble fiber binds to fatty substances in the intestines and carries them out as a waste, thus lowering low-density lipoprotein (LDL, or bad cholesterol). It also helps regulate the body's use of sugars, helping to keep hunger and blood sugar in check. Insoluble fiber helps push food through the intestinal tract, promoting regularity and helping prevent constipation."

What is insulin, and how does it relate to sugar?

"When you eat a food containing carbohydrates, the digestive system breaks down the digestible ones into sugar, which then enters the blood. As blood sugar levels rise, special cells in the pancreas churn out more and more insulin, a hormone that signals cells to absorb blood sugar for energy or storage. As cells sponge up blood sugar, its levels in the bloodstream begin to fall. That's when other cells in the pancreas start making glucagon, a hormone that tells the liver to start releasing stored sugar. This interplay of insulin and glucagon ensure that cells throughout the body, and especially in the brain, have a steady supply of blood sugar."

What is the glycemic index? What is the glycemic load?

• "A new system, called the glycemic index, aims to classify carbohydrates based on how quickly and how high they boost blood sugar compared to pure glucose.

• Foods with a high glycemic index, like white bread, cause rapid spikes in blood sugar. Foods with a low glycemic index, like whole oats, are digested more slowly, causing a lower and gentler change in blood sugar.

• One of the most important factors that determine a food's glycemic index is how much it has been processed. Milling and grinding removes the fiber-rich outer bran and the vitamin- and mineral-rich inner germ, leaving mostly the starchy endosperm.

• That's why researchers developed a related way to classify foods that takes into account both the amount of carbohydrate in the food and the impact of that carbohydrate on blood sugar levels. This measure is called the glycemic load.

• You can't use the glycemic index to rule your dietary choices. For example, a Snickers bar has a glycemic index of 41, marking it as a low glycemic index food. But it is far from a health food. Instead, use it as a general guide. Whenever possible, replace highly processed grains, cereals, and sugars with minimally processed whole grain products."

Lastly, the article ends with an emphasis on
"Good Carbs, not No Carbs."

• "For optimal health, get your grains intact from foods such as whole wheat bread, brown rice, whole grain pasta, and other possibly unfamiliar grains like quinoa, whole oats, and bulgur. Not only will these foods help protect you against a range of chronic diseases, they can also please your palate and your eyes."

-"The Nutrition Source: Carbohydrates: Good Carbs Guide the Way," by Harvard School of Public Health
(http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/carbohydrates-full-story/)

Late Night Munchies Syndrome

You've eaten dinner. You ate enough to satisfy your belly for the rest of the evening.

But...

All of a sudden....

You get the munchies! You are not even hungry!

Do you have the late night munchies syndrome?

Look here to find out!

You have eaten a complete meal for dinner (maybe you've even overeaten!):

1. Within a few hours or less you find yourself wandering through your kitchen.
2. You look for something to eat, but you're not hungry.
3. You look for something to eat because you're bored.
4. You look for something to eat to distract you from something else.
5. You look for something to eat to procrastinate.
6. You look for something to eat out of habit.
7. Your sweet tooth is talking. Hollering. Screaming!
8. You begin to think of alternatives to eating, because you're not hungry, but you know there is ______ (add your naughty goodie here, that you currently have in your kitchen).
   
9. You want something to eat, so you try to feel hungry, even though you're not.
10. You're with someone who gets the snacks out, or goes through a fast-food drive thru.
11. You're at a party and (see 2-7 above).
12. You're angry about something, so you snack-out, but you're not hungry.
13. You feel bad about yourself for some reason anyway. You might as well have a few moments of eating something that tastes really good.
    

Having the late night munchies syndrome does not mean that you are hungry. You might be hungry, but more often than not, the late night munchies syndrome is a very, very bad habit. If you were really hungry, you'd eat some healthful food, right? A banana, some peanut butter and celery, toast, or cottage cheese to name a few. Unfortunately, the late night munchies syndrome has developed over time, and from your habit of giving in to it from the beginning. When you don't give in to it, you feel empty like something is missing. You would rather have that sick-to-your-stomach feeling from eating half a bag of chips/crackers/cookies, than have that empty, needy feeling. I understand because I feel like the inventor of the late night munchies syndrome!


How to Overcome the Late Night Munchies Syndrome

1. Eat a healthy, well-balanced meal for dinner.
2. Drink plenty of water.
3. Find interesting things to do after dinner.
   
4. Don't sit around watching television every night. If you do, prepare healthy snacks ahead of time.
5. When you feel like you're going to give in to the munchies, call a friend or someone that you have been meaning to talk to.
6. Go for an evening walk. This is one way people stay healthy, active and young even into their 90's.
7. If you are on the computer in the evening after dinner, have healthy snacks ready to munch on, and water.
8. If you enjoy reading at night, keep water and healthy snacks handy.
9. Purge your kitchen of junk food. Only stock healthy items.
10. Make friends with your mean roommate if you have one, and give that person all your junk food. Let them get fat.
    
11. Stop procrastinating. Do what's on your list of things to do, and if it involves house cleaning, either crank up loud dance music, or if you have little sleeping ones, listen to headphones.
12. Make a new evening habit. If it's eating, have healthy foods ready to snack on. If it's being more active, invite your partner or a friend or your pet to join you in being active.
13. Write out a list of reasons why you have the Late Night Munchies Syndrome. Work from there.
14. Keep snacks handy at all times. In your bag, in your car, in your pocket. Then if you are around others who are eating junk, you can join them in eating, only you'll be eating healthy. Who knows how this will influence your friends. (It's okay if they tease you, it's actually their way of caring and/or telling you that they are proud of you without actually saying it.)
15. Bake something naturally sweetened and share it with others.
    
16. Revisit this post and send it on to anyone else who needs to read it

Benefits of Overcoming the Late Night Munchies Syndrome:

• You will feel better about yourself.
• You will identify an unhealthy pattern and begin a new, healthy one.
• You may lose weight.
• You will find that evening walks are much more fun than vegging out.
• You might start eating healthier dinners.
• You will wake up feeling fantastic!
• You'll stop feeling sorry for yourself.
• You might be more productive.
• Your kids will learn from your habits. What you do, more than what you say.
• You'll realize your sweet tooth can be overcome!
• If you can overcome this bad habit, you're more likely to overcome other bad habits.
  

Tips on How to Quit Sugar

Here are tips for those of you who would like to quit sugar for a month, a year, or forever. I find it hard to make forever plans, so I take things one year at a time. I'll probably do this forever.

So, you want to quit white, refined sugar. Maybe you've tried before, maybe you think it's impossible. Maybe you don't want to quit, but you are still curious what the process of quitting looks like. Maybe you need a year to think about quitting. For me it's cold turkey or I won't do it. I realize this isn't the tactic for everyone, but even if you quit sugar slowly, weaning yourself from the addiction day by day, I think these pointers will work for you, as well. If you have any pointers of your own or suggestions or comments, please let me know, as I will most likely re-post on New Year's Eve. What works for you? Do share!

* * * How to Quit Sugar * * *

• Make a grocery list and visit a local health food store. If you don't have a health food store in the area, try to find these items anyway, or do some online ordering.
  
• Stock your kitchen with all kinds of naturally sweetened goodies. Here are some examples for when that sweet tooth comes a'callin:
• 100% fruit juice (I'm not a wine snob, I'm a grape juice snob. I drink R.W. Knudsen)
• Dried fruit, fresh fruit, frozen fruit (smoothies)
• Naturally sweetened cookies and ice cream
• Ingredients to bake with: natural sweeteners, grain-sweetened chocolate chips, pure cocoa, unsweetened almond or rice milk, honey, molasses, agave, brown rice syrup, etc.
  
• Buy some flavored tea that you wouldn't normally get. Get cream and make sure you have honey. You won't believe how wonderful some of those hot teas are with a drop of cream and a spoonful of honey. My favorites are the spicy flavors and the vanilla/nut flavors. Buy plenty. Treat yourself. Spend more money than you normally would on tea. This may be what it takes to keep off of sugar. It sure beats the price of hypnosis.
• Make sure you buy naturally sweetened breads, chips, crackers, salad dressings, etc. These normally have hidden sugars and you don't want to cheat just because all of your salad dressings have sugar, do you? Also, remember to get cereals and other snacky foods that are naturally sweetened. If you don't have a health food store, there is one huge commercial brand of cereal that consistently keeps sugar out of its ingredients: Post Grape Nuts.
  
• Double-check your kitchen. Is it stocked? Make sure it's full of naturally sweetened goodies.
  
• Keep junk food in your kitchen. Yes, you read that right. It's good practice to have junk food available, because then you can practice turning it down and choosing something healthier. I was going to throw out all of our junk food last year, but not only was that not fair to Jeff, but if I didn't see junk food on a daily basis, how would I react when I did see it? You'll have to think about this. Even if you live alone, you want to have junk food available to your guests, right? You still want to have visitors, and they certainly want their junk food. They don't want to go on your sugar-free diet! However, if you are an excellent cook, it is possible to make naturally sweetened goodies for your guests, but keep in mind that it usually takes white sugar to satisfy the sweet tooth of those on a white sugar diet. Honey will not satisfy. It takes a couple of months to change your palate and train your sweet tooth to like natural sweeteners. If you know yourself well enough to know that you will sneak treats if they're around, then by all means, clean out your kitchen. Just ask guests to bring their own goodies.
  
• Do not buy "Sugar Free!" labeled goodies. These are tricky gimmicks usually found in the regular cookie aisle, and they are sweetened with a laxative otherwise known as Maltitol. It's the worst sugar substitute I've ever experienced. If you read the fine print on the label, there will be a disclosure statement warning against eating too many. Well, I don't want to worry about a laxative affect. Sometimes I just want to eat the whole box of cookies, thank you very much. Anyway, name brands like Oreos will have a "Sugar Free" variety of their product right next to the original variety. Beware, I have checked the labels and they contain maltitol.
  
• Do buy "naturally sweetened" and "No Sugar Added", as these terms usually mean what they say. Read the label to be safe, but these are terms that usually identify good products.
  
• Check for "Sucralose" which is a generic term for Splenda. You can make your own decision about Splenda. I don't touch it.
• Decide how dedicated you are to eating sugar free--are you focused mainly on quitting desserts? Drinks with sugar? Breads and cereals? If you are just trying to stay away from "sweets", that's one thing. It is another issue to go without white sugar entirely, because it is included in so many ingredients. Now, before you start, is a good time to decide how far you are going to take this. Keep in mind that sugar is in just about everything packaged and hidden in foods at restaurants. If taking your goal to this extreme seems too hard, don't give up. Start with sweets/cookies/obvious no-nos. Consider going 100% sugar free later. You have to find your starting point. Something that is realistic. For me, because I had practiced going weeks at a time without sugar, it wasn't a huge deal to do it again for a year.
• Set a realistic starting point/goal for yourself!

"Portions" My New Lifestyle, Not Diet!

In trying to figure out why I am not losing weight with the sugarless diet, I have decided that my portion sizes might have something to do with it. Also, I need to increase the amount of my daily physical activity, a huge given, but I truly believe I could lose a few if I cut down on my portion sizes.

Because I eat vegetarian, hardly any dairy and no sugar, I have assumed that I can eat everything in whatever portions I want. So when I make a batch of the most delectable gingersnaps ever, I heap them on a plate, go find a cozy spot to curl up and sit, and take my time eating each one while reading a book or doing a Japanese number puzzle. I'm in the clear, right? The cookies are healthy--no white flour or white sugar, so I am good to go, right? Obviously not!

To my dismay, I have to admit that I have been overeating. It has not even crossed my mind until recently, for some reason. Perhaps it has something to do with the year coming to a close and the one goal I was very much looking forward to, I have not attained. In searching for all the reasons why I have stayed 15 pounds over my desired weight, I have concluded that eating half a batch of cookies probably doesn't help my plight, nor does eating five bowls of quinoa, even though it is healthy!

So, the other day I decided to take into account my portion sizes. Already I feel better about myself. I don't need that super-full/sick feeling in my stomach to tell me that I'm done eating. I need to use common sense and forget relying upon my animal senses. The animal in me will gorge. But I am not an animal, and I don't need to load up on food for fear of starvation.

I am not calling this a diet, because I hope to carry this idea to fruition throughout my life. While this may sound totally obvious to you all, this has been a great revelation for me! We'll see if anything significant (weight-wise) happens over the next month.

Oh, and I thought "Portions" was quite appropriate, being that tonight is the eve of Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!

How to Cut Out Sugar and Why

You've got to read this incredible article. Mike O'Donnell talks about the 3 steps to cutting out sugar from your diet, reminds us why sugar is so incredibly detrimental to our health, and what we gain health-wise when we do cut it out of our diet.

You may be thinking, "Oh, I know sugar causes cavities and makes me sleepy sometimes, but I can live with that..." Surprise! There are some more very serious health concerns related to eating sugar and here they are:

• "Sugar increases fat storing"
• "Sugar disrupts normal brain function"
• "Sugar decreases your overall health and makes you age quicker"(1)
  

O'Donnell expands on each of these health concerns with compelling reasons to give up sugar. It is very well-written and he offers some easy steps to cutting out that white stuff.

The sugar revolution rages on!

(1) http://zenhabits.net/2008/10/beat-the-sugar-habit-3-steps-to-cut-sweets-mostly-out-of-your-life/

If You Quit Eating Sugar, You Can do Anything!

It should come as no surprise that this year has had its fair share of changes and challenges. Going without sugar?! Keeping a New Year's resolution has always been an important goal of mine and I have reached that goal off and on in years past. There have been some goals that have fallen to the wayside (doing the splits, doing 100 sit-ups every morning, reading through the entire bible, etc.) but I'm proud to say that going without sugar will be a goal that I will most likely accomplish. Along with this, there have been a plethora of other unusual events in my life this year. Beginning with cutting out all white refined sugar in my diet, which led to cutting out all corn syrups, which led to cutting out white refined flour (for the most part...), which has led me towards some excellent reading material, some of which I am still chewing on. Striving to eat healthy in all possible ways has become this year's mantra. I've gravitated towards fresh over packaged, and home made over store bought.

Eating healthy has lent me to thinking about other areas of my life, as well. I started to re-think all aspects of my life. I mean, since I've been able to give up sugar, I feel like I can do anything. It almost feels like a quiet superpower.

So far this year I've:

• Quit sugar
• Sold my adorable little bungalow in the city
  
• Quit my established career
• Supported my husband as he quit his established career in the television business for the last 10 years
  
• Traveled to Mexico to build houses
• Explored the country, taking several road trips
  
• Temporarily relocated out in the country, and
  
• Joined a CSA.

There is something very exciting psychologically that happens when you accomplish something that you never dreamed was possible. I can't believe I let little white granules have so much power over me and my discipline. Looking back it will seem easy, but it has not been! I had to work at it and think about it every day, and still do.

Recently, I was faced with my fear of heights standing over a 80 foot cliff edge. My husband and I were traveling through Montana and Idaho and stopped at a gas station to talk to some locals. They encouraged us to go on a hike that leads into the woods with a waterfall at the end. That sounded like so much fun, so after driving several hours, we saw the sign for the falls and pulled over. The first challenge was to climb a metal, see-through staircase 4 stories high above and over the train tracks that ran through the forest. I didn't think much about it until I heard someone above coming down the stairs say to us,

"Hope you're not afraid of heights, this is really high and you can see through the stairs to the ground below!"

The next moment an elderly couple passed us and as the woman passed by me, I saw large beads of sweat across her forehead and caught her nervous scent.

(To back up briefly, I am not only afraid of heights, I am terrified. At malls I only go on the first flight of escalators and even then my knees always feel shaky. If I need to go up any higher I find the elevator.)

We crossed the tracks and I made it up that steep, see-through staircase uneventfully. Next, we hiked on a little path through the woods until my husband yells, "Look at that!" Up ahead we could see a narrow swing bridge dangling over the river. "Well, I hope J enjoys crossing that bridge....I'll be taking pictures," I thought to myself. However, while I was thinking about the see-through staircase that I had just climbed, I had a moment of inspiration. I decided to evaluate the situation and ignore my fear of heights for the moment. I knew I wouldn't be pressured into crossing the bridge, so I fanticized about crossing and not feeling afraid of it. The swing bridge hung about 70-80 feet above a violent, roaring river. The bright blue color of the river was beautiful, especially in contrast to the gray, rocky cliffs on either side. The swing bridge immediately became my sugar. Was I going to let it be bigger than my willpower? While my husband free-jumped from rock to rock down below, I stood staring ahead at the swing bridge. It looked strong. People were crossing it. It was only about 150 feet long. Here was my chance to prove something else to myself. I had already overcome some gigantic challenges this year, why not add this to the list?

I climbed up a little wooden staircase to the entrance of the bridge. I felt nervous but excited. I knew I was going to give this my best shot. Suddenly, before I knew what I was doing, both hands reached out and grabbed the thick, metal railing. I put one foot onto the wooden floor of the bridge, followed by my other foot. I slowly stepped forward, sliding my hands along the bouncy railing. I had the bridge to myself. After a total of about 8 steps, I stopped and evaluated the length of the bridge before me. My heart was pounding but I had already done more than I ever thought possible. I gripped the railing tight until my hands hurt and steadily proceeded forward. I moved carefully so as to keep the swing bridge from swinging. Then I heard my husband shout from below and give me the thumbs up. He was taking pictures and I knew he knew just what I was going through. I hesitated on the bridge once more and all of a sudden a wash of panic went through me. Huge rock lay directly beneath me. With a few more steps I would be standing over the mighty river. Instantly my legs felt like jell-o and I started to shake.

"What better moment to move forward, than right in the middle of a full-blown panic attack?" I thought to myself. If I knew there were not other people around, I would have yelled out loud, "Go! Go! Go!" I heard and felt my brain and my heart synchronize these simple words. If I was to ever get over my fear of heights, here was my chance to begin. I looked down at the rocks and river below and then looked up. I stared straight ahead as if my Fear was an entity standing before me. All of a sudden, it felt like Fear was outside of me, taunting me, but not inside me anymore. I adjusted my grip again on the railing, straightened my back, and moved forward with a confidence that I have never experienced before in my life. I knew I could walk all the way across the bridge, but I stopped when I got to the middle. I was going to consider this baby steps and confidently return to the edge.

Once I was standing on solid ground again, I looked out at the swing bridge and felt elated. I was shivering and taking giant breaths. My adrenaline was pumping and I was sweating despite the cool breeze. I saw J jumping from rock to rock in my direction, clutching his camera in one hand. "You did it!" he shouted and I teared up. My biggest fear no longer had quite a hold on me.

"Next time we are out here, I will cross the bridge all the way," I said.

"I know you will," J said.

I had no idea that cutting sugar out of my diet would give me this kind of confidence. But if I can truly go the rest of the year without eating it, then I know that I can do anything.

Serious Stress

It has been hard to care about my diet, lately. My mom has been hospitalized 3 times in the last month, this last time for open heart surgery. In the face of these things, about the last priority I care about is whether something has sugar in it or not. It seems so petty and unimportant in comparison. Reading a label now just seems so menial. When I really think about it, I know that it is not menial, especially in light of my year ahead. I have to keep my goal. Honestly, though, being at the hospital for so long takes a lot of energy and the last thing I have wanted to do is read every little label in the cafeteria. So, no, I did not ask if the bread on my sandwich was made with sugar. I didn't read the label of the bag of chips I ate. I have not eaten anything that obviously has sugar in it, but I have not been as militant in checking ingredients. My stress level has reached a peak and I don't want to blow up at someone because my sandwich bread was made with sugar. Little pet peeves have turned into gigantic stressors. However, I know that this will pass, that my mom will be discharged from the hospital, and that I will soon be bugging everyone again about ingredients.