My stomach's bloated.
I lack motivation.
My butt feels too big.
I'm skipping the gym.
Can't concentrate on homework.
I want to curl up in a blanket and eat donuts and cry.
I wanted a little bit of sugar once in a while. The routine has evolved to epic sugar proportions: I wake up and pour my coffee and gather a handful of cookies to eat with my coffee. Because there is nothing tastier. But nothing squelches motivation like a belly full of sugar rot.
For lunch I will probably eat a giant, colorful salad. Then the sugar craving will kick in and I will hunt around the kitchen for something sweetly satisfying. It almost feels okay because my lunch was so healthy.
One handful of chocolate covered almonds becomes two or three handfuls. Then I get so sleepy I have to nap it off.
When I wake up from napping, I search around for chocolate almond stragglers. Remnants.
I skip dinner because I don't want calories from both a healthy dinner and the inevitable ice cream.
My joints hurt. I have to carefully stretch my back when I get myself off the couch. It's bedtime and yet just one more chocolate beckons me, just one more spoonful of ice cream.
Why am I in this perpetual loop?
I need the angel on my right shoulder, because for now I can only hear the devil on my left.